lam.also.can.blog

Unfolding. Inflammable. The ground and no one else. The ghost. Lockets and her king. Affection. Tracings of your skull. Mercy. Warm me. I might break. Unsafe. Hold me. Do  not cry too loud. Shut up. Should you die, I would be the loneliest figure. Always best. Always better. Fits in most pictures. Slow down. Withdraw. Simply because, You had some penicillin. Letters. Talking about the clothes that I wear. You’ve got me. Some sex. Endings. The ghost. Lockets and her kings. Infection. What you wanted. Timely. Warm me. In your vagina. 

Further is the fear you smell,
You’re brave and afraid,
Afraid to move your hands upon the walls…
Taking turns, you turn, you turn,
You turn to put your weight on me.
You turn, you turn,
You turn to look me deep in my eyes.
Finding for an intervention.
Lover is the word that stands,
Casting a silhouette,
I could deliberate to hide under.
Secret is a telephone,
Gathering your sentences,
You knew what you should have said…

But you didn’t.

You’re complacent, and I’m about the same,
But it will never appear within our view.
Just an honest scenery with shades of white,
Just me and you chasing after rainbows.
Some light to shine on your perception,
Your consent was all that I had to please.
Liars were the shadows under your palm,
Escape was a noun I could never spell,
Hurt was the little hairs we have on our back,
You comb with your hands.
I grew up with simple math and sad logistics.
I grew up telling myself to tell you
I grew up telling myself to tell you that
I make things happen because you could.

You turned complacent ever since I went mad,
But your love always mattered.
I’m sorry I had to douse you with acid,
You deserved it motherfucker.
Just some impediments to get by with,
Just some missing limbs when you wake up.
I had to keep you, part by part,
In bottles of pickles and vinegar.
Handwritten labels and colored lids,
Stacked neatly in the kitchen fridge.
I grew up with simple math and sad logistics.
I grew up telling myself to tell you
I grew up telling myself to tell you that
I make things happen because you could.

The price that you had to pay, telling you that it just isn’t working, the ticket under the lamp shade looking at you pack your luggage, the clock is erasing what the certainty can’t claim.

It was obvious but it was not, answering the machine in a straight line, closed eyes but the tears keep on seeping, the heart can’t make a sound, the more the colour remains red underwater.

The scientists and nature, the bottles of water, asserting spaceships and physics, the squirrels in my head, breathing in the lonely weather, the certainty is erasing all the transgressions inside.

All the information crushing me and walking away. Some were evil while some were words, some had eyes that looked like yours. While you smiled, thinking about the same things that you’d think, I was escaping from your teeth but the more I obliterate the malfunctions of the matter, the more you’ll take them for granted. So they said that you wanted some assistance, in forms of kidneys and livers. They said you’re a liar though the conditions that filth your phantoms may just be the right device to keep me alive. The more you obliterate the malfunctions of the matter, the more they’ll take you for granted. But you’ve got tears. Tears are your favorite, tears you put into a packet and drank through a straw. I have tried moderately to please everyone but it just fucks up, then I cry. It just fucks up whenever I try.

Stop saying I’m crazy I don’t want anything to happen to you could shake your head taking sleeping pills taking iodine taking more tissue paper in you sniff it and wipe your lips I could see your teeth tease me with a smile 50% more lashes could it work? The best it can should be good enough, the best we can would be ending up dead since you really would like to help me and I would really like to provide I really would like to eat you alive since I still love you but I’m still so mad and you are too when you’ve got your life back back back back back you’ve got things going while I’m taking sleeping pills taking naps in between taking more time to breathe in so stop saying I’m crazy I don’t want anything to happen to you…

Is this all that I’m left?
Into your lithe, clapping hands,
I jumped into a bottle filled with monsters,
Amongst the lovers of my past and future,
I’m not going to run, there’s nothing bad,
I’m not going to run, there’s nothing bad.

Little pictures of you between the pages,
Simple words we used on each other,
You believed in magic every time,
I finished your sentences,
I’m not going to run, there’s nothing bad,
I’m not going to run, there’s nothing bad.

Another chance they took, Little inferences still to your favor, The words don’t mean enough for them to say, Don’t talk about being constructive, You had a weapon we could use, A fucked-up state on a fucked-up head, With all the asteroids they’re fitting through the crack in the door, Given anytime arranging poisons in your breast, To suck them, to quiet down, We’re going to war so send me something safe, Some weight to my feelings slung on a pretty face, We do a little twirl, We get a little numb, We fail then we die then we share the news over coffee, Living a death without anything to confuse, God-given, your name your mother said, To suck them, to quiet down, We owe the light that gave us grace, We know the distance between our dollars and cents, You always thought that you could drive me, You can take us all, You forget so easily, To have it your way, to defecate, I know the moisture you emit, When my fingers come in.

I was looking at rabbits, feeding my mind with, rusty, tepid memories, shifting images with speech, ways and means, hiding under the kitchen sink, here, getting caught won’t be easy. If it was a date, coming here would’ve caused meanings, if you were just passing by, this place would be a mistake, you’re fooling your feelings and I know that, the same lips can’t replace my quiz, the same guy would only be the one looking at rabbits. But I’m satisfied with the thought that we once had each other, the thought that I once had a share of your vagina.
I was looking at rabbits, shapeless and romantic, with no one to receive, I was asking questions on their breed, these trivial things just put me back into narratives, ways and means, the taste was always salty, here, I’m oblivious and abiding. If it was a date, coming here would’ve caused meanings, if you were just passing by, this place would be a mistake, you’re fooling your feelings and I know that, the same lips can’t replace my quiz, the same guy would only be the one looking at rabbits. Quitting was painless but the survival is eating me in, if I could kill you, I would, and feed you to the pigs.

You rubbed my eyes, holding my face down, make me watch the busy streets, holding my hands. You took over the wheel, in a fast car changing lanes, you said that it was for the best, it was what I needed, holding my hands. You called me your holiday, some great fun under Ikea blankets, holding my shoulders; placing me behind the line, darling, you really could hurt me. You rubbed my eyes, holding an envelope, I’m drunk and smiling, I can’t feel a thing, what did you say? Holding my hands…