lam.also.can.blog

What have we done? What have you brought here? I could have read your intentions this morning but I’m so full of wishful thinking. Second chances and those hands that promised me good omen. Those hands that tardily abates, in total sunder, all the while adding bacteria. So venal, you immured me up in a sad, sad tune. Nothing was perfect, nothing that I could have remembered. What have you done? What have we brought here?  I transmit felicity, if you promise to eat me. At the final moment, you cried, you always cry at endings…

Could you withdraw all your refusals? Could you cut and copy then cut again? Could you sprinkle me lovely? Could you keep me sober and meant it? Could you leave but come back again? Could you surrogate this backache with laid back contemplations? Could you suck away my age from a straw? Could you close your eyes while I close the doors? Could we turn gay? Could you speak to me as if I was going to die anytime now? Could we please go back to the start? Forgive my vacillation, this insistent sunlight is getting to me…

How time flies to drag us back to this river. In the middle of your words, your permissive fingers philandering my debate. Vanilla antiphons, shy smiles against mine. You’ve got your hair everywhere but you’re still so pretty. You were good love among the years; you were confident pictures in my ledger. I’m pensive with bullets and warrants, if I can’t have you then no one could. In the middle of your words, you gave me a look. I have to be the one to save you. Penitent reds on your black velvet shoes, the murderer of amity. I let the bitter, keen river currents  streel you away. Laggard tears and no evidence, this quiet lull of my trifling pages…

Amalgamating my feelings
With familiar melodies
And wine,
And hopes on paper,
With words like ‘I loved you’
Don’t leave me,
Don’t weigh the differences, please…

Running away,
As if I was a guillotine,
But if I was king,
You will be the first
Against the war…
Against our odds of freedom’s thirst…

As this note I pen,
Evolve into a handshake,
In words,
Still, I am not ready to part,
Behind this smile,
And tired eyes,
I’m afraid that you’ll leave me,
I’m afraid that I might be right…

(February 3rd, 2005, 2:53PM)

silent, stealing glances pretending not to notice. take your coat off, I’ll make some tea. timid conversations, persistent questions at the back of every rightly succinct answer. you’re diffident, inquisitive interests moving forward among the furniture. some advantages in concluding, details that may seem trivial or unimportant. disabling symptoms, to discern signs of the insidious disease. what were they hiding? what were you trying to hide? I’ve got my fingers across my mouth; I won’t tell that you were just visiting…

All those wonderful things. Prince charming. We needed impress. No one else can fill. No one else can fill. Accompanying feelings. There are endorphins. My entire vision. That most of an atom, 99.99% of an atom. It’s not what happens to you. Alcoholic. Alternates, between hostile defiance and contrition. All those wonderful things. The right to resist. Put them into conflicts. Easygoing and optimistic. Don’t attack. Don’t behave. Don’t love no one and create scandals that humiliate and undo them. Think in numbers. Taste a color. Prefer. Acquiesce. Poise. Would you say that you could get carried away? And the world makes you Queen for a day. Decide to be. Watch the sunset, then you die…

Cool, cold, hateful repulses because you’re fervent. In a city that cracks and moans, your spasmodic body sparkles inside my head. I’m too scared to talk. I’m too scared to talk. I’m too scared to talk.

All these conversations turn to inertia, you really should come visit. You could think of me on Saturdays and Mondays until you see my face again. Put on some pink shoes and good jeans; wipe off your lipstick for a kiss. Slumber is my heart, you could take it packed in a plastic bag. You could take it for walks when its not raining, silly words and terms laced with impressive talk. I miss your company, darling. I miss the covers of dark. I miss…

+ To never complain or cry

+ Throwing, yelling, and screaming

+ Young and impressionable, something other than love

- Scrabble party machines and mini billboards

+ Verb confusion

+ People with nice shoes, people with good teeth

- Childhood dreams, stories, fever and four-letter words

+ Black soy sauce and gold paint

- Do you want to be invited back?

+ Godspeed you black emperor!

+ Happy to be Nappy

- We could discuss electricity, DC, AC, direct, signals; batteries can’t kill you, silly

Je parle de vous parce que je me rappelle. Il montre juste qu’il y a les espaces ici, j’ont laissé vide. Si vous venez, je sourirai. Sans mots, je souhaiterai la bienvenue. Si vous oubliez, je négligerai. Gentiment, nous serons amoureux. À plusieurs reprises et encore…